RunKeeper Free & RunKeeper Pro

by FitnessKeeper Inc.



Category: Health & Fitness
Price: Free / $9.99

What it is: A proletariat's glorious awakening in the sunset of Nike+iPod class inequality.

Ready, Set:
You're getting ready for your date with the road. You've sprayed on your Tommy Hilfiger deodorant, pulled on an organic cotton Ralph Lauren headband, and massaged Clinique's SPF-15 lip balm onto your already moist and supple lips. You've loaded up a perfect mix of Royksopp, Daft Punk, and ironic 80s electroclash. You've looked in the mirror. You look fantastic. Now all that's left to do is pull on a pair of those sweet new Nike+ Lunarglide sneakers with the pedometer in their heels, and sync them up with your freshly anodized fifth-generation iPod nano. I'll say it again: you look fantastic.

What a steaming pile of tosh! Have we forgotten what running is supposed to be? When did we become a bunch of spoilt hipster brats who think exercise is only about designer brands and multicolored gadgets? It's time to drop the gimmicks and take our sport back to its roots. Get your beat-up pair of Sauconys and New Balances out from the back of the cupboard. Put on that raggedy old tee from high school gym class. Hold off showering for a few days beforehand, so you'll really appreciate getting one when you come back. And get a copy of RunKeeper, it doesn't need no stinking Nike+ enabled shoes. This here is for real runners, the salt of the Earth.

Using state-of-the-art GPS tracking technology integrated with Google Maps online, RunKeeper commands a multibillion-dollar satellite network to follow your every move across the planet's surface, calculating and recalculating your course, speed, elevation, pace, and calories burnt at a rate of several thousand times per second*. Even as your iPhone 3G/3GS plays wholly unpretentious beats from the likes of Nas and J Dilla, its omniscient metal brain dreams up rich full-color charts and graphs in conjunction with RunKeeper.com's servers in the cloud, viewable on last year's 24" dual-core iMac once your ordeal is over. That's what I'm talking about, yo. Only real runners need apply.


"The Road Had It Coming" Rating: 5 / 5

* Maybe just a few times.

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Download RunKeeper Free from the iTunes App Store, or buy Runkeeper Pro for additional features and real-time interval training cues mixed in with your music.
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