by PUMA AG
Category: Finance
Price: Free
Playing for thigh stakes
Hi there, Warren Buffett here. You may know my name from conversations at the bar when some of your more worldly and forward-thinking friends in the financial industry, in an effort to impress the girls, mentioned how I was a source of inspiration to them. Never mind that you and your cretin friends are so far removed from someone of my accomplishments that the very idea is as absurd as a bronzed statue of Apollo in the Louvre being worshipped by a dirty copper penny.
It's true, a man like me can have any woman he wants. Female companionship comes so easily to me, I only have to flash my mugger's wallet and the ladies are all over me. The truth is, I've been bored for ages. I tried looking for a woman who loved me for who I really was, but the ones that turned up weren't really hot enough. Until I met the Puma Index app for iPhone, I thought I'd never feel the thrill of the chase again.
Now there was a woman who wouldn't take her clothes off for just anyone! When the market's up, she puts on more clothing. When the Dow drops a few points, she takes something off. Here at last is a strong, intelligent, and independent woman who won't act like a slut for just a few hundred-dollar bills stuffed in her thong! Unlike all the others, she won't degrade herself just for a pink private jet and a couple of mansions. No, this one will take billions to conquer. It's a challenge I can't resist. All these years of building my empire are finally going to pay off. Tomorrow at noon, private bankers around the world are going to get calls from my people, and I will finally get to see those luscious Puma Bodywear intimates.
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Positives: Hot male/female models, video
Unpositives: German & Asian markets from website not included
Rating: 3 / 5
Download The PUMA Index for free in the iTunes App Store.
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